Chemo Treatment #3 – Day Two

Thu Sep 06– 2012  Chemo #3 Day Two – Pump Day

In 12 and half hours I will officially be 1/4 of the way through this initial chemo regimen. Tomorrow it will be 8 weeks since diagnosis.

I’m going through a serious pity party tonight. There is nothing different about tonight. My pump day is going well, a little cold sensitivity but nothing unmanageable. I’m just teary and pissy and mad and sad. Tomorrow this will have passed and I’ll be fine until the next time.

It’s times like this I wish I could be a religious person. I wish I could believe in an after life. People think that atheists are in rebellion against the idea of god or the idea of some outside authority. Many atheists I know wish they could believe. It would be a comforting thought, but you can’t make yourself believe in something. You either do or you don’t. And I don’t. 😦

Bah, enough of this. No one wants to listen to me bitch and moan.

 

~~ Gayla

Asgara Queen of the Needy and Attention Seeking

 

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4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Phil on September 7, 2012 at 12:28 am

    I’m on my pump day as well and I’m a few treatments ahead of you. I am not liking treatment week ends but I’m holding hope that the treatment will help me.

    I’m sorry you can’t believe in God or the afterlife. St. Thomas Aquanus published a pretty convincing proof that God exists. He was a very bright philosopher and was looked to as an authority on the subject.

    Also, are you an atheist or an agnostic? An agnostic believes there is not proof of God but concedes there may actually be a God. Whereas an atheist beleives there is absolutely no God.

    Reply

  2. I admit I don’t know, so that does make me technically an agnostic.

    Reply

  3. Posted by Denita on September 7, 2012 at 3:04 am

    Yes we do, Gayla. That’s what family and friends are for. We love you and are here to listen and cheer you on through the good AND bad.

    Reply

  4. I am sorry you are struggling so. The BIG C brings many strong people to their lowest points. I believe in God but still have questions that have no (earthly) answers. I will be praying for you and hoping that today and tomorrow are brighter days. Have you considered a cancer support group? Hugs, Sandi

    Reply

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